300 Words on "The Meg" (2018)

Every modern shark movie – good, bad, or ugly – is compared to Jaws. Well, The Meg is no Jaws. While Jaws is a tense thriller directed with style and engaging, real characters, The Meg is two very silly hours of adrenaline-pumping action and adventure.

However, I expected little else and wanted nothing more.

Based on the novel by Steve Alten, The Meg is the very definition of popcorn entertainment. This is, after all, a movie in which a prehistoric, 75-foot-long great white shark terrorizes the scientists working at a state-of-the-art underwater research center and their only hope for survival is Jason Statham. And it delivers on the goods.

The Meg is a fast-paced two hours – its plot is relentless as it charges from one set-piece into the next; never seeing the need to come up from its shark-infested waters for air. Packed between scenes of ultra-modern submarines racing through the depths in pursuit of the Meg, there are actually a few genuine thrills to be had as well. The Meg uses the vast expanse of the ocean to its advantage, and I admit to finding myself on the edge of my seat in scenes where Statham and the rest of the cast found themselves adrift in the open ocean at the megalodon’s mercy. It is also worth noting that for a CGI-filled blockbuster extravaganza, the computer-generated graphics are pretty decent; certainly some of the best for a recent shark movie.

As other reviewers have pointed out, if you are looking to find fault in The Meg it is there. But if you are willing to simply check your brain at the door and appreciate the film for the fun B-movie that it is, then you will be in for a good time. The Meg may not rival Jaws for its spot on the food chain, but then again, it probably never swam out of the depths to do so. 

300 Words on "The Mummy" (2017)

Over a year ago, I wrote a piece which acknowledged my excitement for 2017’s The Mummy, and wishing my best to Universal’s proposed Dark Universe – their answer to the overwhelmingly popular Marvel Cinematic Universe – The Mummy being the first chapter in this new saga. Well, I never ended up seeing The Mummy; dissuaded from doing so by the scores of negative reviews which greeted the film’s opening and now, more than a year after its premiere, I can finally offer my own take on the film which sunk the Dark Universe before it even began.

The hatred which greeted The Mummy was probably not warranted. The film isn’t that bad. In places it is a fun, cheesy B-movie. But as the spectacular, prestigious start to a franchise that Universal wanted it to be, The Mummy proves to be even more lifeless than its titular risen-from-the-dead monster. There is some artful cinematography, but The Mummy is the prime example of a film designed by committee, showcasing very little art and simply reeking of corporate greed.

In the midst of all of this is the always-welcome Tom Cruise who seems to spend the majority of the movie looking straight down the barrel of the camera in disbelieving confusion (probably unable to believe that he was actually cast in this film), and even his presence – alongside Annabelle Wallis, Sofia Boutella, Russell Crowe, and Courtney B. Vance – cannot entirely salvage the film. And if the stunts which Cruise et al. perform were to be the jaw-dropping highpoints in the movie (and perhaps rival Cruise’s other death-defying spectacles of the Mission: Impossible franchise) than they surely underwhelm.

The Mummy just feels sloppy and rushed; the product of a studio desperate to throw their hat into the ring when it was obvious they were not ready. There are some decent moments to make you chuckle or jump in your seat, but they ultimately do not do enough. And just as quickly as it was born, so died Universal’s Dark Universe. 

300 Words on "The Fog" (1980)

In the late 1970s, John Carpenter was put in an unenviable position. His previous film, Halloween (1978) was a terrific success and was already beginning to redefine the American horror genre. How, then, could he possibly follow up such a revolutionary and genuinely scary film? Carpenter chose to do so with The Fog.

The Fog – it is easy to say – does not match Halloween as a cornerstone of the genre, however there is much to applaud all-the-same. Carpenter’s decision to portray an old-fashioned ghost story on screen was a bold one; the kind of story which raises goosebumps on the skin while sitting around the campfire. Indeed, the film begins with John Houseman’s old seadog telling just such a tale to a group of kids around a fire, and the scene sets the tone for the exact type of film we are about to see.

And though the old-fashioned sensibility of The Fog feels worlds away from the modernity of Halloween’s horror, the shadow of Carpenter’s masterpiece can still be felt. Much of the cast of Halloween turns up in The Fog (Jamie Lee Curtis, Charles Cyphers, and Nancy Loomis) and cinematographer Dean Cundy photographs scenes in the same foreboding manner, lending the creeping fog the same menacing presence as Halloween’s stalking Shape. Additionally, Carpenter returns to compose the film’s score in his traditional understated, electronic style. Carpenter’s eerie soundtrack underscores the film’s tense moments brilliantly, and his choice of employing a classical piano underlines The Fog’s Gothic roots.

The Fog will probably not keep you up at nights, but it is nevertheless an entertaining and engaging foray into Gothic horror from one of the greatest filmmakers to dabble in the genre. It may not be regarded with the same reverence as Carpenter’s other films, but it remains an overlooked minor gem in his catalogue of undisputed classics.